Sleepless…..

For about a week now, I haven’t been able to sleep properly. Lying awake for endless hours thinking, mind racing, without a final thought or summary. I’ve been working hard, sticking to my health and fitness, completing my workout routine, and for the most part sticking to my healthy eating habits day after day. My thoughts kept on coming back to VHLF, and this blog. Why haven’t I been posting? What was stopping me? Have I been doing enough to hold me back from posting? How would I get back into it?

If I am to chose one important application from my health and fitness journey, it would be that I am in control of my actions or I should strive to be. At the gym, it is up to me to push myself to the limit. I must maintain control over my mind and actions to get the results I want, to leave the gym feeling like I did everything I could in my power to gain from the workout I just completed. When I have the urge to eat something that I shouldn’t, it is up to me to stop myself. The challenge is only accomplished and overcome if I can say NO for myself. Therefore, I struggled to understand what it was that was stopping me from continuing with VHLF. This question amplifies even further in other aspects of life, simply, what is holding me back? Am I even being held back? Have I lost control?

Now, I’m getting a little carried away just going on a rant of questions, and believe me I don’t have all the answers either. It has been a good couple of months though. New responsibilities and challenges have been handed to me, good responsibilities and challenges, but definitely time consuming. These time consuming responsibilities coupled with a constant bad internet connection during my free time seems to have put me in a mode of I’ll start again tomorrow. But is it really good enough? Am I not just excusing my way out of it? Why would I even want to allow myself to be in this mode?
The only response I can come up with is just ****ing do it! Excuse my french, but I can’t stress it enough.

Forgive me for being selfish and keeping my journey to myself over the last… little while, but most importantly I ask forgiveness of myself for not fully exercising my control. My health and fitness journey continues. I have reached new milestones and constantly strive to reach my goals. But I must remember to focus as much on and enjoy the journey.

Excuse the rant please. VHLF blog and I have had a little setback. I’m okay with it. It has simply challenged me to push myself harder and come back even stronger!! I’m back and I’m stronger!! I will definitely strive to be at the very least.

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