Birthday’s, New Year, Injuries, Resolutions

Technically one’s birthday is the start of a personal new year. Yesterday was mine and as my mate wisely told me that it is a day to reflect on the past year and figure out what to do, where to be for the new one. So I get to reflect twice in quick succession once for my personal new year and once for…well New Years, rather strenuous work. I was considering whether I would make two resolutions, try and test one for a couple of days, or make one big resolution. Either way I got to thinking about my resolution(s).
I’m currently on a short (hopefully short) injury induced break from most of my heavy training, exercise, and working out. I find that not being able to train is difficult, painful, and upsetting. Working out for me is not only about the results, but also about the day to day journey – both of which may suffer because of the injury setback. This is all really part of the journey. The struggle, personally, is to be okay with it and not allow it to get me down which is the mindset that health and fitness has given me over the past several years. To enjoy the journey, not just the results. It helps. Which brings me back to considering my resolution and options…. Hmmm it’s a difficult one this year. I think I know the direction I’m going to go with it. I will have a definite decision by New Years.

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Sleepless…..

For about a week now, I haven’t been able to sleep properly. Lying awake for endless hours thinking, mind racing, without a final thought or summary. I’ve been working hard, sticking to my health and fitness, completing my workout routine, and for the most part sticking to my healthy eating habits day after day. My thoughts kept on coming back to VHLF, and this blog. Why haven’t I been posting? What was stopping me? Have I been doing enough to hold me back from posting? How would I get back into it?

If I am to chose one important application from my health and fitness journey, it would be that I am in control of my actions or I should strive to be. At the gym, it is up to me to push myself to the limit. I must maintain control over my mind and actions to get the results I want, to leave the gym feeling like I did everything I could in my power to gain from the workout I just completed. When I have the urge to eat something that I shouldn’t, it is up to me to stop myself. The challenge is only accomplished and overcome if I can say NO for myself. Therefore, I struggled to understand what it was that was stopping me from continuing with VHLF. This question amplifies even further in other aspects of life, simply, what is holding me back? Am I even being held back? Have I lost control?

Now, I’m getting a little carried away just going on a rant of questions, and believe me I don’t have all the answers either. It has been a good couple of months though. New responsibilities and challenges have been handed to me, good responsibilities and challenges, but definitely time consuming. These time consuming responsibilities coupled with a constant bad internet connection during my free time seems to have put me in a mode of I’ll start again tomorrow. But is it really good enough? Am I not just excusing my way out of it? Why would I even want to allow myself to be in this mode?
The only response I can come up with is just ****ing do it! Excuse my french, but I can’t stress it enough.

Forgive me for being selfish and keeping my journey to myself over the last… little while, but most importantly I ask forgiveness of myself for not fully exercising my control. My health and fitness journey continues. I have reached new milestones and constantly strive to reach my goals. But I must remember to focus as much on and enjoy the journey.

Excuse the rant please. VHLF blog and I have had a little setback. I’m okay with it. It has simply challenged me to push myself harder and come back even stronger!! I’m back and I’m stronger!! I will definitely strive to be at the very least.

Motivation or Distraction?

I do my best to find motivation in everything that happens to me and from everything I see. Although motivating, some things can also be distracting at the same time. Today, I was given a good reminder of this.

At the gym, my goal is to complete my workout while pushing myself to the limit and keeping my mind and body focused. A good looking woman who was working out on the machine next to me asked me for help. I helped her and we had a very short chat at the same time. Later, a number of the regulars, gym mates, told me that the woman liked me and that should go over to her and continue to chat. I did have a feeling that she liked me, but all the same, I told them that I do not and will not look for or focus on women during my workout. I find it distracting. Their responses were along the lines of “isn’t that why we workout” and “isn’t this why we started.” To be clear, for me, it is absolutely not the case. I began working out to lose weight and be healthy. It was never only about looks and attraction, rather for peace of mind and health. It is a time of day where I get to focus on my mind and body, where I get to push myself to new limits, be in control, and enjoy the journey.

This is more of an honest rant of how I feel than anything else. If I met this woman outside the gym or at the gym, but after my workout, I’d be happy to continue chatting. She definitely was worth a chat (if I may put it in such terms). But for me, focus is a priority at the gym. There’s plenty of other time in the day to focus and be distracted by other matters. Yes, it definitely has a motivating effect, but it is also distracting.